Let's Get Kebabs, or He Saw Me Take My Pants Off Through the Window

I’m housesitting. I call it this because, though I’m paying out the wazoo to stay here with this family, they are not here, ever, and the last thing they said to me was, “Bye, Kali, take care of our cat.”

I have yet to see the cat.

I filled his bowl once, and now it’s a little lower, and I didn’t eat that cat food, so I suppose he’s around here somewhere.

On Tuesday I had my fantastic Let’s Celebrate Kali’s New Circumstances party. We grocery shopped after school, then all the girls took the bus to my house (which, shockingly enough, takes even longer than biking—go figure.) We cooked magret de canard, cheese soufflé,
and brownies, as well as a salad of greens with Basque vinaigrette and a sliced baguette with warm goat cheese and honey. I was pretty freakin proud of myself and my cuisineering skillz.

We also had three different types of wine, all of which we finished, and then we wasted our night playing with a wig we found in the laundry room. It was fantastic.

Tonight I went on a date with my best friend. Since we're not in any of the same classes and rarely see one another, we make it a point to go out at least once each week to eat, drink, catch up, and talk shit about everyone else :) We always go to the same kebab restaurant--the Algerian men behind the counter know us and give us the VIP treatment by escorting us upstairs to the private party room, giving us discounts, and tonight--for the first time--bringing us cups of hot tea on a cold night and saying, "Pour vous, un cadeau"--for you, a gift. They also gave us "frequent buyer" cards that they double stamp sometimes, so in a couple more weeks we can eat entirely for free :) Mmmm, free kebabs....

So last week our Kebab Night fell on the same day that I had bought my first pair of skinny jeans. I was thrilled, naturally (first of all because they actually fit!!!), and just wanted to rip them outta their bag and put my grubby little hands all over them. We arrived at the restaurant, the owner took us upstairs, and I immediately took them out of the bag to show M. She oohed and ahhed, and I was suddenly overcome--absolutely OVERCOME--with the urge to put them on. M told me she'd keep guard (which really just meant inspecting her nails in the general vicinity of the doorway, listening intently for footsteps which would signify that it was too late for me anyway) and I proceeded to remove my pants.

Let me justify my actions for a second. It was raining, hard (I know, raining in Pau? Never!) I was soaked. My pants, recently unwashed, were at that slightly-too-long stage where they just barely touch the ground, then act as a sponge until my jeans become heavy with water at about knee-level. I was freezing, and the idea of having ready-to-wear new clothes at my disposal was simply too good.

I have to say, nothing is quite as thrilling as changing pants in the lavishly-decorated upstairs room of a corner kebab restaurant in France. I hope that somewhere, someday, I can find someone with whom to compare experiences. Until then, I think I'm just talking to myself.

Regardless, I changed pants, I didn't get caught, and we ate our delicious kebabs with nary a care in the world. Afterwards we biked to le Garage, my favorite bar on the entire earth, and bought each other a couple of demi-pêches. Basically, imagine the cheapest, worst beer in the world. Then, put it in an artfully blown glass, add a few squirts of peach syrup, and you've got a cheap delicious drink that all college students can afford. It's a dream come true!

The Garage is a fun place to hang out because it's owned by an Irish guy, so there's always rugby playing on the TV. Plus, the bartenders (especially the really cute one) speak great English. It's fun to go there and relax after a loooong day of learning, eating, speaking, breathing, dreaming in French, so we chose it as our Recuperation Station. It's a great mid-week pick-me-up, a way to say, "Self, keep on keepin' on! If you make it another 7 days, I'll give you a treat, and it rhymes with 'shebobs and semi-tesh'."

C'est la vie.

I just realized......

...that the photos in the slideshow in the upper right-hand corner are not my photos at all. 

I have no idea who those folks are.

But they look like they're having a fun time :) for that, I'll let them stay. 

You can check out all my photos (consolidated!) here. 

So, this week is the week of French students' vacation. All students, everywhere in France, are on vacation.....except who? That's right. The foreigners. 

It did make for a really easy commute to school this morning since there was no traffic. However, it was raining torrentially (but it was 85˚ on Sunday!!!!), so that made the going a little more treacherous. Once I tried biking with an umbrella in the middle of the night on an empty road (it's safer that way!) but I failed miserably and ran my slow-moving bike into a signpost. I even tried tucking it into the back of my shirt and tying the silver post around my neck with my scarf. No luck. Instead, I use my hood. When I turn my head, the hood doesn't turn, so every time I check for oncoming traffic I get a face full o' hood. I take off the hood. My hair gets wet. My eyebrows retain rain and leak into my eyes. My glasses get moist on the front and foggy on the inside. Water drips down the slope of my nose and slides into my mouth. I get to class and I bring a little puddle with me. Then, about 2 hours later, when my hair begins to dry, I go back out in the rain. It's a vicious cycle of moistness, unjustly cold hands, and the permanent presence of a cold. Oh, Pau.

I got a new host family :) It's the family who wanted to host a student but couldn't because they were too busy in September. I now live really close to my best friend, who's slightly inaccessible thanks to her new French lover, but it's still nice to not live on the other side of the world from the people I like to spend time with. I'm going to meet the mum on Thursday, she's moving me out Friday, and I never have to see these ingrates again :) 

Today after class I went grocery  shopping with some girlfriends so we could buy ingredients for our Hella-Awesome Home-Cooked French meal tonight. We bought magret de canard (duck breast) which I'm gonna grill with fresh-ground pepper and cognac. We're also having a green salad, baguette slices with toasted goat cheese and honey, a cheese soufflé, and belle Hélènes (crèpes with warm pears, vanilla ice cream, and chocolate sauce). It's going to be fantastic :) We've also got two bottles of wine, ten American movies, and a closet full of French board games that we don't even begin to understand the concepts of. I'm so excited :) It's a kind of celebratory meal for my last days living all by my lonesome, as well as a kind of "let's have a vacation of our own" because my first class tomorrow is cancelled so I don't have to wake up until 1 pm :) I'll be sure to include pictures!

In fact I have to leave to pick up my friends at the bus stop. More later, friends :) 

QUEL heure est-il!?!?! And Other Confounding Moments

The very first time I told this story it was in French and I had to summon all sorts of verb tenses; it's going to be much easier and more rewarding in English :) 

So, last night I set my clocks back an hour because it's daylight savings time this weekend (don't forget!) I set my watch and my alarm clock, waiting to set my computer, phone, and ipod in the morning. I woke up.....stole a glance at my alarm clock....and it said it was 4:45 p.m. 

I have never slept so late in my life! I jumped out of bed, threw the window open (noted that the sun seemed rather high), then checked my watch. My watch said it was 11 am. My computer said it was 8 am. My ipod said it was 10 am. I ran downstairs. The oven said it was 17 minutes after midnight. The microwave said it was 18:53. The laundry room said it was half past 3 am. And by that time my alarm clock said it was 5 pm. I had no idea what time it was; was today really today? Had I slept for a year and missed my birthday? Had I gone to sleep at all, or was I still in yesterday? I was so confused! Finally a friend got online and told me it was 9:08, so I had to subsequently re-reset all my clocks. It was pretty hilarious :)

I spent the day pretending I was going to miss something. I laid in the sun to do my homework (in a bikini....in late October.....hell yeah for French weather!), I ate too much Nutella, and I took a nap in the backyard. Life is so good :) I had about a half-hour run-in with a renegade neighborhood cat who thought he could waltz into the house whenever he pleased, then proceeded to run through the house hiding from me, then ran face-first into the glass door in an attempt to escape. I've never laughed so hard in my life :)

Friday night I had a Halloween party!!! It was a costume party, and I had it on campus--weird thought, that we can have parties on campus, in the open (I had mine next to the university cafeteria). It was fun :) we pretty much just played card games, and my new friend Tall Man came from Tarbes to come visit for the weekend. Only 5 people showed up out of the 20 people who said they would be there,which was slightly disappointing, but then we got a hold of some spoons and kicked each other's asses....it's been a long time since I played Spoons, and it's been an even longer time (try 20 years) since I had to explain the aim of the game in French. Fun times :) 

On Saturday I had to walk Tall Man back to the train station so he could catch his train back home. Lucky bastard, he's got the whole next week off school. All French students do. And the British students, too. Come to think of it, all the students I've talked to so far, regardless of what study abroad program they're with, have next week off from class. Who doesn't? The Americans. I hate it! We've got to bring our lunches to school next week because the university cafeteria will be closed since everyone is off campus. How depressing. It's probably going to rain every day. Or, worse, be gorgeous and sunny and me be trapped in a classroom! Injuste, c'est vachement injuste!

After I deposited my friend at the train station and said a Stereotypically Romantic Train Station Goodbye (you know the kind I'm talking about, with the tears and the hankie and the mouthed confessions of undying love....well, not quite, but it was close :P) I met my friend Kendra, and we spent the day roaming around downtown Pau. It seemed like everyone else had the same idea, because there were people everywhere! The day was perfect, cloudless, and you could see the mountains incredibly clearly because the humidity was so low. We roamed for awhile, shopped a little, just meandered until we found ourselves at a cathedral with violin riffs (are they called riffs on violin too? It sounds like such a rock star word!) wafting out of it. We stopped and saw an old man who invited us into the church with his bow. It was a celebration of Protestantism (irony?) and someone had taken the time to make rows and rows of posters illustrating the benefits of a life spent with Christ. It was really interesting, and talking with the old man was even more so--we spent our afternoon engaged in conversation (in French, bien sûr!) about literature, poetry, politics, stained glass, everything except religion. It was really nice :)

Afterwards we found ourselves at le Méliès, my favorite independent theatre. It's in an old hollowed out cathedral outfitted with electric blue spiral staircases, so it's pretty much a standing juxtaposition. We saw that La Belle Personne (Christophe Honoré, director of Love Songs) was playing at 5:15, and the time was 5:14, so we ran inside, bought tickets (discounted to students!) and watched a movie, completely spontaneously. The movie was grand--it's a modern-day reinterpretation of a 17th century play, la Princesse des Clèves. A beautiful girl shows up at her cousin's Parisian high school and completely shakes up the dynamic of the school. Everyone falls fatally  in love with her, and she's either oblivious to her stunning looks or really well-schooled in the art the subtleties of beauty. It was a really good movie. 

Afterwards Kendra and I went to a Moroccan restaurant for lamb stew with potatoes and lemon (so good!) We discussed the movie, our new French love interests, the cultural project we're doing together, everything. It was really nice to get out of the classroom setting and talk about something other than school in a language other than French :) I'm doing really well at holding my own over here, and every day I learn new phrases. Just today I learned "faire la grasse matinée"--to sleep in. Literally, to make the fat morning :) It's spectacular.

In my last blog I was trying to decide whether or not I should change host families. I have since had a revelation. It was Tuesday night, I had class at 9 am Wednesday morning, and my host brother was having earth-shattering sex. Until 3 am. In the room next to mine. I sent an email to the directors right before I finally fell asleep, saying, "This is the last straw. I need to change. Let's talk options tomorrow." Wednesday at school I met with Ryan and Robina, who were in the process of writing a letter to my host mum. Apparently she'd called several times over the past few weeks to say, "I know I haven't been doing the best job of being there for her, I've been really busy, I've got a lot going on, I probably shouldn't have taken a student this semester," etc. etc. They told me of another family with two kids who lives closer to the university (and in the same neighborhood as my best friend :)). They have internet, too, which is always a plus, and as far as I know they still have a room available for a student. If that doesn't work out, they also have some single women on the list who have offered to share their houses. Regardless, I'm happy to be getting out!

My first couple days here at the house on my own have been rough. It's an old house, it makes a lot of noise, there's a cat who can get in and out as he pleases, and I just get scared. Plus, I'm going to be blamed if the house burns down or something while I'm living here! I was hoping, before I came over here, that my host family would want to show me the hidden gems of their region--I've got friends whose host families have taken them to the vineyards at Jurançon, the beaches of Spain, the observatory atop one of the peaks of the Pyrenees. I get to housesit, eat nothing but apples and Nutella, and wait for my next home to be decided for me. It's not too bad, though--I've got free reign of the television :) Speaking of, les Experts, the French version of CSI (my FAVE) comes on tonight. I'm going to wrap up in all my blankets (I forgot to mention the heat doesn't work :|) and watch some good ole' dubbed American shows. Until next time :) 

Two Different Kinds of English

I bought a slang dictionary this week, hoping it would help me stay fresh with my French homies, g skillet [...crickets...] I searched for a couple of words, but mostly I just didn't have it on me when I needed it. Then, when I needed it, I discovered it was actually a British/French slang dictionary. So, my main problem now is that when I look up a French word and see the English equivalent....I still don't know what it means :| for instance, chouchouter=to mollycoddle. What the hell is "to mollycoddle"? 

In case you were wondering, it means to pamper or spoil ;) 

Speaking of slang....there's a Chinese girl in my French classes whose name is Wei. She always gets really confused when people say "ouais," the French equivalent for "yeah." It cracks me up, seeing her head jerk up and her look around the room like, "Yes? You said my name?" Then again, I do the same thing when anyone says "qualité" or "qualifier." Comes with the territory I suppose :) It's better than being Peter (to fart), or Nick (basically, to shag). 

This past weekend was a big bucket o' funsies for me--I took the train to Tarbes, about 30 minutes away, to spend the weekend with some friends I met at the university. They met me at the train station, took me to a gorgeous park, cooked dinner for me, took me to a party and a "family meal" at their school, and generally showed me a spectacular time. Everyone was enthralled by the American; everyone wanted pictures, wanted to speak to me in English, wanted to grill hamburgers in my honor. It was a very empowering weekend :) 

This week my host family is leaving on vacation. I'm a little miffed--they're going to be gone three weeks, and didn't they commit to hosting a student for the entire semester, not 2-months-and-one-week? I'm supposed to get breakfast every morning and at least 2 dinners a week, not to mention conversation time with them, and so far I've gotten....none of that. I told the directors--for whom the vacation was just the straw that broke the camel's back--and they're giving me the option to change families. Do I really want to do that? I do--I would love to have a family that actually gives a damn whether or not I'm at the house, whether or not I've eaten, whether or not I'm happy. But at the same time, do I really want to impose my life and schedule and presence on someone else's family, right in the middle of the semester? Advice, please!

On a happier note, Halloween is fast approaching and I'm having a costume party this weekend! I thought, since my host family will be gone, it's only appropriate that I celebrate :) Don't worry, though, we're having the party at the university--I don't want them thinking I would trash their house while they're gone! Anyway, we're buying lots of candy, everyone's dressing up, we've even got pumpkins to carve! Basically, it's just gonna be card games, candy, and guitar--I'm pretty psyched :) If you're in the Pau area this Friday night, stop by!

Classes are going well. Just last week I did a presentation (oral, 15 minutes in French, GO! It was pretty challenging :P). I did my exposé on the French presence in Tennessee. I know, who knew there actually IS a French presence in Tennessee? Apparently, as of 2000, there are 18 000 Tennesseans who speak French. I don't believe it. Anyway, I also included slides of Nashville, country music must-sees, and, of course, played a little country tune on my guitar. It was pretty entertaining as the Finland guy and the Chinese girl had never really heard country music. Globalization, I'm tellin' ya :) 

Tonight I'm going to English Trivia Night at the Garage, one of my favorite bars. I figure I'll have a pretty significant advantage over the rest of the contestants, especially with my new slang dictionary :) Wish me luck!

Car Wreck, New Schedule, and High School Musical--Life is Weird.

What a tumultuous week. Monday we started classes--up until now we've really just been farting around, taking one class a week, maybe three days worth of it, then going out every night and partying with the natives (makes them sound like indigenous Indians :P), then pretend to wake ourselves up for "class" the next morning. Basically, it was a month-long introduction to living in Pau--which was actually really helpful--and a month-long party with only a glimmer of distant responsibility. Ahh, the life of a foreign student!

Needless to say, that's all over now :) I placed into the most advanced level of French, so there are only 7 people in the whole class. There are 4 Americans, a Brit, a Finnish (there's no way they're called finishes!), a Chinese, and a Russian. Pretty eclectic. We started Monday with language, then Tuesday was Geography and language; Wednesday, language and Art History; Thursday, language and the Science of Linguistics; and Friday, literature. All the classes are conducted in French, and since we were only assigned 18 hours we have to pick up an extra course--a kind of auditing--taught by a French professor. The class I chose, Science of Languages, only has 10 other people in it, so I'm terrified that the prof will call on me during class! Oh well. Add that to my two dance classes and my two other classes and I'm pulling 26 hours of class per week. Intense! But I love it so far. A lot former students warned us that it would be French boot camp, but I say bring it on, Pau--hit me with your best shot. 

On Monday after school I had a bit of a scare--I got hit by a car while I was biking home. Minimal damage, a sore shoulder and a headache, but I was pretty terrified. The worst part is, the driver drove away! And I had to come up with a way to convey the message to my host mum--"quelqu'un m'a frappé avec une voiture" translates to "someone slapped me with a vehicule." She was completely incredulous, naturally, but she told me how to say it correctly, so of course I told everyone :) Why not? I survived, and it makes for a great story. 

I have neglected my journal (slap my wrist!) for almost two weeks now, which is a grave sin in the memory department. I wanted to stay on top of that above everything so that I could recall the golden details of this whole trip, but I suppose I'll have to try to remember everything and attempt to record it from there. 

Thursday was the day of sport on campus--there's no real translation for what it means, but there were a bunch of dance exhibitions and concerts and stuff. I might be mistaken--and I hope I'm not--but I'm under the impression that it happens every Thursday! Our prof gave us the option of either staying in class on Thursday afternoon and not having homework, or going to the sports thingie and having to stop French students to fill out a questionnaire. None of us felt like practicing our French with actual French students, so we stayed in class. Afterwards, les apéros chez Charlotte :) This time it was just girls because all the guys had had dates earlier in the week that bombed and they were all sad. Lame story, I know, but it was also quite entertaining :) Again, there were pancakes--tradition!--but this time we rocked out to High School Musical. Yes, let me repeat that: High School Musical. The girls here are obsessed with it, not because it's intellectually stimulating (God, no!) but because it's an incredible "accurate" look at American teenagers--they watch it to make fun of us. Fine by me, because that's why I watch it, too :) The girls invited me to the theatre to watch the third one when it comes out...and I think I'm going to go :) One of their selling points was the kiss--Charlotte actually said to me, "Maybe they'll hook up this time--they haven't kissed yet!" Oh, you French kids and the things you pay attention to...

Friday, only one class, French literature, at 9 am. Afterwards a friend and I trekked downtown, bought train tickets and youth discount cards (SUCH a great deal--you get at least 50% off all ticket prices!), ate an entire pizza over the course of three hours at a café, sat in a park reading French newspapers, and watched two foreign films at an independent theatre. It was probably one of the best days I've had here. It was so laid back, and there was so much time to do everything we wanted! The films, too, were great--one of them was a Spanish movie called El Otro, in Spanish with French subtitles--shockingly enough, it was quite easy to understand. The other, a Woody Allen film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, was in English and I loved it--especially reading the subtitles to find out the French equivalents for impossible-to-translate phrases, like "drive me crazy" (driving? like in a car?!)

On Saturday we went "randonning" in the mountains. I just love the word randonning :) We took a bus to Nay first to explore a béret museum at one of only two béret factories in France. I didn't buy a béret, and I regretted it all day!

       

After that we bussed to Gavarnie, a gorgeous mountain town where we ate a fantastic meal (is there any other kind in France?) and then hiked for 5 hours on a 60˚ incline. 

Fun times. I'm viciously sore. USAC has all sorts of fun excursions like that planned for us, which I'm really excited about :) I hope I can post pictures soon! Until then, just keep imagining how much fun I'm having--it'll be spot on :) 

Wine, Cheese, Police Officers, and Other Necessities

Wednesday nights are karaoke nights. It goes without saying that, of course, I will be there. Every Wednesday.

I took the placement test in the morning, finished the oral interview around noon, then hung out in a room with a bunch of other Anglophones swapping stories and surfing the net (conveniently, I have lost all traces of internet at my house. Coincidence? I think not.) I lurked at school to escape the weather ( first, a string of days with weather that I would sell my first born to be allowed out in, followed by a shorter string of days with weather I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Lucky me, out on a bike, in a skirt, during the latter.) Afterwards, I napped until karaoke time. Oui, la vie est trop dure--life is too hard!

I met some friends at the Hoegaarden (hilariously pronounced with a French accent) just south of campus and we enjoyed the karaoke show, then met a couple of gendarmerie (innately Greek-godlike French police officers, with muscles and badges and everything!) We went to a discothèque and danced until 5:30 am (oh, to be young again!) and then, again, biked home in the dark/wet/skirt.

Thursday was rainy, too, but we had a noon potluck to which were invited a bunch of French students, so we hung out in the warm of the Faculté des Lettres and spoke frenglish (or, franglais). Afterwards a French friend of mine, A, invited me to her apartment because her landline phone company offers free international calls on Thursdays. I got to talk to my dad, who was just leaving for work while I was basically finishing my day, which was bizarre and wonderful. I was standing on A's balcony for the conversation, and had the sun been out I would have been able to see clearly the entire panoramic chain of Pyrenees mountains forming the southern border of Pau. Too cool.

Thursday night I had my last cooking class, a bittersweet affair. We started with foie gras (don't tell my friends in PETA, but I secretly love the stuff) and a rosé wine; then had magret de canard (duck, which I accidentally relayed to my French friends as 'connard,' which basically translates as asshole) and green beans with red wine; followed by brie and cherry preserves and a cheese typical of the Béarn region, accompanied by a sweet white dessert wine. We had to pay extra for the course, but I say it was totally worth it--it worked out to 20€ per class, but you could easily spend 20€ on foie gras alone! Not to mention wine... I met a bunch of my British friends at a bar afterwards, then biked home (again in torrential rain: is this a new theme? I like the old one better!)

On Friday we had French culture class at 12:30, and right in the middle of that class The Authorities posted our French level assignments. I had taken the test to the best of my ability on Wednesday, but I hadn't really sat up to study or fret about it--I figured, I will test where I belong and I'll be totally happy with that. After class we went to sneak a peek at the lists...

...and I had been placed in the absolute highest level, Level 11 out of 11 Levels, le niveau le plus avancé. I was thrilled, shocked, proud, and a little bit conscious of everyone else's hatred directed at me (there is only one other USAC student in that level :\). I called my mum to share the news, then biked home for dinner with my host grandparents who are here for the weekend.

I spent my Friday night babysitting for my friend Marina's host parents kids (no, Paul, the kids are not mine!) which was a ton of fun. We basically spent the whole night watching Disney movies dubbed in French and sneaking bonbons without the kids seeing. T, the 5-year-old boy, helped me with my homework (armed with only a highlighter), while M, the 2-year-old girl, just screamed 'NO!' at every proposition. We all fell asleep, collectively, at midnight. Translating all the time really wears a girl out!

When their parents arrived home, the mum told me there was one seat left in the car for the trip to the regional Cheese Festival this Sunday. I am stoked, and I'm tempted to not eat anything till then so I can fill up on the best cheeses in the land. I'll try my hardest to post pictures when I can :) Until then, know that I'm having entirely too much fun on entirely too little cash. Oh, France. Oh, shitty exchange rate.